there you go...

this may sound stupid.using a blog to reply to someone's question from another blog.it's like going to a person's profile in facebook and clicking on the "wall to wall" link.but there are things that are meant to be explained.

and here goes nothing...

Dear Thoughts,
I know you may have been shocked by my recent actions.At first,I was actually holding my anger towards you while you were on cloud nine telling me stories and all.At the time,I was tired.I really didn't mind you calling me.Anytime.Anywhere.But I guess you called me at that particular period of time when I had mixed emotions about you.Thinking back about it,I realised that I had made a huge mistake by letting out those few words at the end of the call.
As the holidays drew nearer,I wondered if you were OK or not.As it turned out,you deleted me.That gave a huge impact towards me.I was lost of words.I didn't know who to refer to until I texted Parachute.She calmed me and told me to handle things rationally.And then I found traces of you in "Thoughts".That's when I felt calm and a bit relaxed.
To tell you the truth,I was confused with your 'brother'.As July,approached its end,he sort of distanced himself away from me.I was clueless.When I asked him,he told me that he was feeling hot and the best solution was to sit somewhere closer to a fan.I didn't mind.But the problem was he used the same excuse for almost every other classes.Let it be the classroom,library or maths' room,it was clear he didn't want to be close to me.
A month had passed and everyone started to notice.I didn't know how to explain to the others.But it was heard that your 'brother' said there was nothing going on.Confused and undetermined,I tried my best to stay calm and try to focus for the upcoming trials.
As we finished our 2nd week of exam,I decided to text him and express my deepest concerns towards him.The reply,got my blood pumping like hell.Let's just say it seems that a 1st former is everything for him.Looks like our friendship is penetrable.He then told me that he wanted to see if him being far from me would affect his results.So it seems that I'm his fail factor now,eyh?
That happened 2 nights before you called me.I know you didn't do anything.But the thought of you being his 'sister',it sickens me.With just a few text messages,all my hatred and dissatisfaction towards him during recent years came back.My mind was thinking all sorts of bad things about him.To me,he was a selfish dictator.But I wouldn't want to go further on that.Bad things produced by my mind should stay there.
So,when you called,I was still all fired up about him.And while you were all happy and said goodbye,I uttered those few words.You asked why.I noticed the difference in your voice.The type of voice full of curiosity.You're so innocent.That's a fact.And I'm so sorry it happened.Frankly,I felt awful about it later.

So,there you go.I guess that's about everything that needs to be explained.But seriously,I deeply apologize about what had happened.You didn't do anything wrong.You were being your true bubbly,happy,cute self.And I was the one who suddenly became selfish and thoughtless.

All in all,I wish everything would be the same as before.

Hmmmm.It's half an hour before 3.40 am...